The low-cost dessert is mightier than the sword

If that is not an first-rate aphorism, I do not know what is.

Besides serving delicious rice and raw hazardous meat, Chinese restaurants typically give away fortune cookies to paying customers. This is both to cover up the outrageous price on the bill and to offer a generic little piece of advice to those lucky enough not to swallow or choke on the small piece of parchment. In my food travels, I have obtained and guzzled many of these papers. Despite this, there are many that stand out in my mind as bits of guidance that could not just benefit me, but many others as well. 

The bits of advice that I have run into include various aphorisms such as “A good deed will make you feel good.” Now, I have taken this advice to heart; why just last week I refrained from causing physical harm to anyone, although mental and verbal destruction were perfectly acceptable. This didn’t just make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, although this may have actually been caused by my red thermal underwear, it gave me a new outlook on life itself; give the other fellow a break, even if he is incompetent. In addition, I received a “fortune” that read “Focus on the color purple this week will bring you luck”. This one is self explanatory; I did so and survived the week without any form of death befalling myself. This taught me to focus indefinitely one something so ridiculously insignificant and reap the rewards that follow.