Walmart, formerly known as Wal-Mart, is a horrifying place. Security guards and cameras are posted at every corner in an effort to tarnish the plans of well-meaning, experienced shoplifters from thieving crock pots, Dumb and Dumber Blu-ray discs, or reusable licensed infant diapers. However, this was not enough to thwart the unintentional efforts of a 6-year old Anthony. While my mother was purchasing groceries and other unnecessary objects, I gazed at the items placed within child’s eye view at the register. Among other things, plastic candy mobile phones and novelty writing utensils were abundant. However, for some strange reason, the magazine publications were what caught my eye. I did not seem to care for the celebrity tabloids or obscene images featuring a rabbit mascot, the toddler fodder periodicals interested me, the particular name of which I cannot recall. Despite my undying brilliance, even at the time, I did not know better than to think, for some peculiar reason, that these pieces of paper that cost mere pennies to produce and were filled with advertising did not cost a cent. Thus, I grabbed the magazine, and with it in plain view, waltzed out of the store. My mother noticed nothing, the employees noticed nothing, and I didn’t have a clue of the heinous crime I had just unwittingly committed, which I walked away from without a scratch.
Of course, there are multiple lessons to be learned from this episode. If one is going to steal something from a public retailer, do not bother being discrete with it; don’t stick that package of delicious smoked hot dog wieners in your hat, just carry them on out as if you rightfully purchased them. Also, for righteous citizens, always check for a price tag before leaving with something, as the guilt may drive you to the brink of insanity, like me.
It is good that you learned from your experience.
ReplyDelete